8.30.2011

everything happens for a reason: breakups and advice.

This past weekend as I discussed my best friend's break up, I couldn't help but hurt for her.  She is still hurting.  Still hurting since June.  She for the first time ever, really thought he was the one.  The worst kind of break up.  The one where you've fallen hard. And for the first time.  



My heart just hurt for her. So I went back through my memories and lept back into my last big breakup.  The only advice that I could honestly and truly give her was. Time.  It will hurt less. And the worse is when you know they met someone special to them.  And from there it will only get better. But the in between things.  Like focus on yourself.  Stay busy. Seem so lame, I hated that when people told me that during my breakup, but it's so true, the more you focus on yourself, volunteering and throw yourself into your job, the BEST possible things will happen. My volunteering during my breakup led me to meet amazing people, plan and create an amazing Gala, and it was the most rewarding experience, and landed me an interview and amazing new job. In hindsight, I had an epiphany. Things really DO happen for a reason, we just don't know it at the time.  I wish I could go back to the-past-me, wipe her tears and stop her from those heart broken moments, all those times in reassured her "you are going to be sooooooo much happier soon." But that's the thing about the future, you never know what is next.  And the future is full of so many beautiful, wonderful things.  At the same time, the future is never promised, so you have to grab theses moments and make it so beautiful you won't forget it.  I remember when I was younger I would always think to myself, it is never going August 20, 1994. This is the only one I have and I'm gonna make it great. So, take today and make something about it AMAZING. laugh out loud at least one. Play your favorite songs, be with the people you love, call someone you've been meaning to but haven't and don't waste a moment, because the future isn't a promise.  



5 comments:

  1. I LOVE this post! I think I needed you back in March during my breakup with the beau of 5 years. I feeeel for your friend. And the thing IS I was the prize in the relationship, {I was haha} and I just knew that I would be the one to move on first. He started dating someone serious in July and I am still single...however, I know it's all a sign of better things to come because I am still job searching - he is a nurse at UK Hospital, when I go out on dates I feel socially awkward as if I'm just not there yet {probably because I haven't met the right guy yet} he obviously found someone who makes him ...er, a little LESS awkward than he is because let's face it, he's got some ISSUES hehehe. Anyway, I loved your advice, you are an amazing friend, and everything you preached in this post is 100% accurate. It will take her some time "to get there"{as you clearly know and she will with the help of you and other girlfriends. The best thing for her to do is plan trips, weekends {with Keeneland and football opening up- this shouldn't be any problem AND a good way for her to get out and be SOCIAL!} This is SUPER LONG so sorry!! xoxo

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  2. Hello, Chelsea!

    I am your newest follower - found your blog via Tales of an All American Girl. I am always happy to find another Bluegrass Blogger!

    I absolutely agree with this post; you are such a good friend to offer such good advice! Even though it's hard to find a reason for the madness while you're in the moment, sometimes life's unhappiness is all part of a bigger, happier plan.

    xo
    em.

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  3. I know we tell each other this stuff daily, but now we can go to it and read it when one of us is not available to talk :) thanks again for yesterday...

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  4. You are a sweet friend. Wish I had a best friend like you with advice and encouragement like this. Some days I still hurt from a breakup I had a year ago...but your advice is right... it only takes time. xoxoxo

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  5. Loved this. . My ex left me in jan after years together my first proper love. I was gutted and now here he is engaged and im still single. It hurts so much but i have to believe its all ment to be and im hoping another lovely man awaits me

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